Beauty Seen is Never Lost

A crust from somewhere deep within,

They tell me about your childhood. “Jenni Ramad”, the Ashen monster. That’s what you were called. “ He toyed with the world” they said. Destroyed. Ruined. Caused pain. “As a kid, his life didn’t pause for a second. From the pit of dirt holes,to the back of vegetable trucks, and from wells of cement, to streets of asphalt; his face was never clean, it was always dusted, layered; and nothing could be seen but those dark irises peeking through. His hair had a life of its own; color-drained and sticking out; no matter how often it was washed and combed.”
But then you grew, and that Ashen boy, found new ways of destruction; ones that destroyed what’s within, and turned their way inside out. “ A drug addict? The bottom pit of society, that’s where he resides. At the deep rotten bottom”. And you didn’t care. That permanent smirk you had stuck to your face said it all. You knew so well how much pain you were inflicting upon those who were ready to lift their gazes and turn a blind eye for you. But you, simply, took yourself out of that family portrait, and tore it down to bits and pieces.
I loathed you to no extent. You were the villain.
Until, that day, when the world crashed down on our heads, and you found yourself unable to breathe. That dust which surrounded everything in your life? It had finally cleared out. Leaving you with the bitter reprimands of a guilty conscious., You were consumed then. By loss, by grief, and a love you hadn’t known. But those underneath cannot in any way rise, can they now? You’ve heard them “ the bottom pit of society; they never change”. One couldn’t acquire a new skin. You couldn’t just swallow that past of yours, not with those judgmental stares hovering around you. All; waiting for you to flinch. Your ultimate fall. It was the most spoken theory all around. “ People never change”.
But you tried. And that weakness, which led you to succumb to those desires in the past, had been overshadowed by that strength, that undeniable will power to recreate your soul. And you’re it now. You’re it. In my eyes, you’re it.
They might shrug, with doubt and disbelief, but I know, and you know, that sometimes, it takes a profound wound, to make you see, what it’s like to be loved and what it costs to love someone. The cape is yours now, you’ve earned it.
And I ask God, the one who can give and take all,
to give you the strength and the ability to finally look at yourself in the mirror, and see the man that you are now, and not that Ashen boy; never that ashen boy.

Posted by Diddlina at 10:56 PM